A Christmas Story - The Franco Way

We have three families that we get to spend time with over the holidays. My mom, my dad, and Jason's family. Since there are only technically 2 days for christmas someone always gets screwed. Generally its my dad just because that is usually the last place I want to be. I could go into why... but that’s a whole other blog.

Last year we did what we normally do and spend Christmas Eve at my mom’s house and Christmas day at my in-laws house. I really like having our own Christmas morning at own house with Santa and all. Now that we have a family it just seems right that we be able to start our own Christmas morning just us. Anyway, I put my foot down this year and said we are having Christmas eve and Christmas morning at our house then we head out to my mom’s on Christmas day. We had a great time as we usually do. Our trip started off a little rocky though.

Christmas Day: I run back into the house for the 3rd time to get the one last thing that we forgot. Since we are planning on leaving Jack at the in-laws house for a few days after Christmas, he needs a lot of crap. We had spent at least 30 minutes backing up the car. And of course we were already 20 min late. As I unlock the door to the kitchen and step inside I hear Jason starting the car, or at least attempting to. The car doesn’t turn over until he tries it for the third time. The only think I could think of was damn, now I have to unpack that stupid car. He ended up getting it to start, I get in and sit down with the left behind rubber boots and he shuts the car off! “What are you doing?!” Maybe its just a girl thing, but I was happy to just get the damn thing started, no reason to test our luck at this point. He even looked at me like, so? He started it right back up again with no problem, so that was good.

We finally get on our way and I give my mom a call to let her know we will be a little late. I tell her about our car problems and she tells me she has a problem of her own. Their power had gone out a couple hours prior. Ideas of cooking the ham on the BBQ and burning Christmas presents to stay warm came to mind. Luckily the power came back on only a couple hours after arriving. We had a great time, opening presents in a civilized matter, ate a lovely dinner that we all helped with, played farkle, watched a stupid movie and went to bed.

Day After Christmas: We arrive in Stockton at the in-laws house and I have to pee like a race horse. I go to open the gate to their house and the damn thing won’t open. They have some weird wire contraption keeping the gate locked. We ring the doorbell 5 times while I’m standing there doing the pee-pee dance. They fiddle around with the dog trying to catch it while I practically pee my pants. This was the start of an awesome visit… As soon as Jason walked in the house they set him to work fixing their computers for the next 3 hours. The rest of the afternoon and into the evening contained the same characteristics of any Franco Family Christmas. Some of these are:

1. Dad listening to the television so incredibly loud the neighbors could hear it. We all had to yell to hear one another and we yelled to have him turn it down. He pretends to turn it down only to turn it up even louder ten minutes later.

2. There are at least twice as many presents under the tree for our niece then there are for Jack. Including one 5 foot stocking that was full of gifts. I took a picture... to be posted later. Its rediculous.

3. Present opening time is complete anarchy. Everyone is shoving presents upon you and everyone is opening them all at the same time.

4. Each present under the tree is labeled from Santa. I’m still unclear why, but it is a bit confusing. And each one of these has the price tag still attached. Apparently santa sucks at the details. He also uses the same wrapping paper that he has been using for the past 15 years. He must have stock piles of it in the attic.

5. Jason gets a gift, from santa, that was actually already owned by him. His parents like to save all of the boys’ things from when they were young and slowly give them back to them as they age. This year it was a book that he wrote when he was a boy.

6. Mom is screaming at the kids so that she can take a picture of them opening each present.

7. Garth Brooks and Kenny G blaring Christmas tunes on the oldest working stereo you ever saw. Although you can only hear it if you are in the same room, otherwise the music is drowned out by the tv.

8. Mom feeding my niece entirely more than she ever should. Regardless of the fact the she is already over weight and she’s only 5.

9. Dad starts pouting over something, its different every time. And he starts handing out guilt trips like they were candy.

10. Generally one if not all of the Franco men end up taking a nap. This Christmas was the first year that they didn’t. Perhaps the tv was too loud.

I so love the holidays and I hope this helps express why it is that I am SO glad they are over! Sorry if this turned into a rant.