The reason why I became a Mom

I have learned to recognize the signs, and sounds, that indicate Jack is off for his daily trip to the restroom. Not that he just goes once a day, but you know what I mean. I wish I could just ignore this daily event, but I have learned my lesson the hard way. He always seems to wait until it is the most in opportune time for his house-wide announcement of "MOM!! Come Wipe My BUUUUUTTTTTT!!" This announcement would usually come nice and loud while I was on the phone with a client or comcast, or really anyone that didn't need to hear that my sons butt was poopy. Luckily, he is a wee bit better about it now. (get it? a wee bit? HA) So yesterday when was on the phone, I saw him head up to the restroom, and as he leaves the door open to share his experiences with everyone, it made it easy to see what he was up to. I sat on the stairs waiting for my queue. Since he is a "big boy" now, he has to wipe his own butt a couple times, then I come in and make sure all is clean. I watch him gather up his toilet paper for the first of two self serve cleanings. I did have to stop him though before he made the biggest mess out of the entire downstairs… He had obtained enough toilet paper to clean an entire Ethiopian family.

Apparently Kym, who I was chatting with on the phone, thought I was over reacting when I told Jack that he had way way way way way way way too much paper. So we counted how many squares it took to get to the center of a toilet paper roll. He had pulled off not 7, not 13, not even 20, but 29 squares. The length of the toilet paper train was well over 8 feet long. And before I had taken them away, there he was just wadding them up into one giant ball of toilet clogging mess.

We agreed that 5 squares would give you ample cleaning material to get any particles that may have been left behind.

Now that Jack is four his creative side is definitely emerging. They say that it is normal for him to even have imaginary friends at this age too. And even if he did, I wouldn’t blame him. You can only play by yourself so many times. We had some easter eggs out last night and we were playing grocery store with them. It’s a fun way for us to learn math. He goes and gets a bunch of his toys, puts them in a bag, and I make up how much each of them cost. It’s a pretty fun game because of course I get sassy with it. I ask him if he has coupons, or I tell him I don’t take credit. Or I will just straight out refuse to serve him since he isn’t wearing shoes. He never even questions me when I tell him that each hotwheel car costs $97000.

So he was making his purchases yesterday and he said this, “I need to buy some eggs for my brother and sister. Their names are Kelly and Couchy. I named him Couchy because he likes to jump on the couch. He’s 22000-18-22-18 years old, but he’s a kid still. Kelly likes to drink soda sometimes." This is the first I've heard of these two siblings of Jack's. Maybe it was one of them that keep leaving their toys all over the house.

I tried sleeping in this morning. Jason got up at 7:45 and I told him, "Just 15 more minutes." As I roll over I hear the delightful sounds of Jack discovering his easter basket. All I hear are OOOOHHHH!! and WHOA!!! I had to get up.